Parenting for many of us is like being thrown into a deep, fast moving river and barely knowing how to swim. The survival instinct is overwhelming, the emotions are overwhelming, and the voices of how one “should do” things can also be overwhelming. Everyone around us has an opinion.
Many of them are just that - an opinion, and many of them are absolute lifesavers. When my daughter was born, seasoned parents used to laugh and warn me about how on some winter’s day, someone would inevitably make a comment about how my child was not wrapped up enough. I laughed along too, even when it actually happened!
It was a cold winter’s day, I had just walked down the mountain from our house with my 12-week old daughter strapped to me in her snuggly, and we had just walked out of the local coffee shop where I had filled myself up on hot tea, and she on mama’s milk. We were both like furnaces, and I took off her hat. Many of you will know just how hot these little bundles can get! Anyway, there came the comment about how my child “really should have a toque on you know!” Of course it was well-meaning, and then again it could well have been a projection!!
Every adult walking around today has survived childhood. For some it was easy, and for some it is a miracle that you are here at all. As I have heard before, we can’t change what happened to us, but we are responsible for what we do with it – and its impact on us. Part of that responsibility comes with how we handle our projections onto kids and their parents. We all see it out there in the world: the little toddlers out with their parents after 11pm, the 2 year olds drinking a can of cola, the drunk parent neglecting their kids. It’s heartbreaking… our hearts are breaking for those kids, and sometimes I think, our hearts are breaking for our own unhealed child inside of us. Feeling and/or projecting pity, anger, outrage, fear or judgment does nothing to help that situation. It does nothing for the parent and child, and it doesn’t nothing to heal you, and it certainly does nothing to heal our planet.
Compassion on the hand does. It is an energy that says, “I am here with you. We are in this together. I am supporting you with care. I am not afraid.” With the magic of compassion you are saying this to the scenario outside of you, and to your own woundedness.
My call to action over the next week, is to hold healing intention as we are out in the world. This is a walking prayer of love and compassion, and if there is enough of us, we can raise the vibration and change the energy of judgment.
The way to do this is through a process of increasing your love by using beautiful memories. This is a technique similar to that which Sandra Ingerman speaks of in her book “Medicine for the Earth.” The next time you see a scenario of a parent and child that disturbs you, close your eyes (if you are not driving or crossing a street) and recall the most beautiful, glorious, loving, joyous moment you had with your own child, or a child. Recall and feel in your body, the smile on their little face, the magic of the moment, your full and open heart. Feel this and recall it as clearly as you can – and then double its intensity. Become aware of the loving, joyous energy that now surrounds you. Ask spirit to take some of this magical energy in a bubble to the scenario you might otherwise find disturbing. This is healing medicine in action.
We ask today that you encircle and enfold us in your love and compassion as we go out from here. Bring to us all that we need to do this work in a non-judgmental, open and peaceful way.